Lesson Outcome
The purpose of this lesson is to
help you recognize the different types of relationships, why many of them fail
to bring true happiness, and why it’s important to strive to create a
“Celestial Marriage.”
Introduction
Have you ever tried to walk or run
with your shoes on the wrong feet or your laces untied? It’s possible, but it’s
also uncomfortable and awkward. Just as walking and running are most comfortable
when your shoes are on correctly, so, too, is marriage most comfortable when
you have taken the time to create a proper relationship.
Matthew chapter 13 contains an
account of the Parable of the Sower. The sower sows seeds in four locations,
but for various reasons not all of the seeds survive. Starting in 1 Nephi
chapter 8, and for several chapters after, we are taught about Lehi’s vision of
the Tree of Life. In this vision, there is one path that leads to the Tree of
Life, or eternal life, and to safely navigate that path you must hold onto an
iron rod or else you will be lost in the “mists of darkness” that will come and
prevent you from seeing where you are headed. Those mists of darkness represent
the temptations of the devil, and the iron rod represents the word of God;
following the path to the tree symbolizes living a life of righteousness. Also
in this vision are several groups of people, all headed in different
directions. Due to varying circumstances and the choices those people make, many
of them are lost and cannot find their way to the tree.
For this lesson, I am going to take
the Parable of the Sower and the Vision of the Tree of Life and compare them to
different types of relationships.
Parables and Visions
“Outer Darkness” Relationships
The first type of relationship is what I call an “outer darkness”
relationship. This relationship can be compared to the seeds that fell “by the
way side.” First, let’s look at the description of the way side seeds:
Matthew 13:4, 19 (See also Mark 4:4, 15 or Luke 8:5,
12)
4 And when he sowed, some
seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
19 When any one heareth
the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the
wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he
which received seed by the way side.
What does it mean to fall “by the way side?” Here is one
explanation:
“What is it that hardens the
heart? This explanation was given by the Prophet Joseph Smith:
‘Men who have no principle of
righteousness in themselves, and whose hearts are full of iniquity,
and have no desire for the principles of truth, do not understand the
word of truth when they hear it. The devil taketh away the word of
truth out of their hearts, because there is no desire for righteousness in
them….’ (Smith, Teachings, p. 96).’ ” (Church
Educational System, 1978, p. 75)
In summary:
Pride, iniquity, hard hearted
No understanding of truth
No desire for righteousness
Next let’s compare the “way side” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of
Life
Here are the relevant verses:
1
Nephi 8: 31
1 Nephi 12:18
18 And the large and spacious building, which thy father saw, is
vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men. And a great and a
terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal
God, and the Messiah who is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth
record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time
henceforth and forever.
Now let’s compare these to “outer darkness”
Alma
40:13
13 And then
shall it come to pass, that the spirits of the wicked, yea, who are evil—for
behold, they have no part nor portion of the Spirit of the Lord; for
behold, they chose evil works rather than good; therefore the spirit of
the devil did enter into them, and take possession of their house—and
these shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping, and
wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this because of their own iniquity,
being led captive by the will of the devil.
Look at the similarities and common themes between way side seeds,
the large and spacious building, and outer darkness:
The devil has possession of their hearts – pride, iniquity
They choose evil rather than good – no desire for righteousness
They have no part of the “Spirit of the Lord” – no understanding of
truth
So what does an “outer darkness” relationship look like?
No desire for marriage or a relationship
No understanding of the importance of marriage in eternal salvation
“Telestial” Relationships
This next relationship is compared
to the seeds that fall in “stony places.” Let’s take a look:
Matthew 13:5, 6, 20, 21 (See also Mark 4:5, 6, 16, 17 or Luke 8: 6, 13)
5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth:
and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because
they had no root, they withered away.
20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy
receiveth it;
21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while:
for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he
is offended.
What does it mean to fall “in stony places?” Here is a helpful
quote:
“(Note: Just as the rootless sprout is unable to remain alive under
the heat of the noonday sun, so there are those who, without real testimony and
faith, lose conviction and even interest under the pressures of difficulties or
ridicule. Though not commenting directly on the Savior’s parable, President
Heber C. Kimball prophesied over a century ago of a condition that illustrates
the need for a deeply rooted, living faith capable of enduring challenges. The
prophecy has an increasingly important message for the Church in our day as it
faces the unfolding future.)
“ ‘Let me say to you, that many of you will see the time when you
will have all the trouble, trial and persecution that you can stand, and plenty
of opportunities to show that you are true to God and his work. This Church has
before it many close places through which it will have to pass before the work
of God is crowned with victory. To meet the difficulties that are coming, it
will be necessary for you to have a knowledge of the truth of this work for
yourselves. The difficulties will be of such a character that the man or woman
who does not possess this personal knowledge or witness will fall. If you have
not got the testimony, live right and call upon the Lord and cease not till you
obtain it. If you do not you will not stand.
“ ‘Remember these sayings, for many of you will live to see them
fulfilled. The time will come when no man nor woman will be able to endure on
borrowed light. Each will have to be guided by the light within himself. If you
do not have it, how can you stand?’ (Quoted by Harold B. Lee in CR, Oct. 1965,
p. 128; see also Orson F. Whitney, life of Heber C. Kimball, pp. 446, 449-50).” (Church
Educational System, 1978, p. 75)
In summary:
No testimony or faith
No strength to resist temptation, unable to endure trials
No light within yourself
Next let’s compare “stony ground” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of
Life
1 Nephi 8:21-23
21 And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were
pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by
which I stood.
22 And it came to pass
that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.
23 And it came to pass
that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of
darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way,
that they wandered off and were lost.
Now let’s compare these to the “telestial” kingdom:
D&C 76:81-90
81 And again, we saw
the glory of the telestial, which glory is that of the lesser, even as the
glory of the stars differs from that of the glory of the moon in the firmament.
82 These are they who
received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus.
83 These are they who
deny not the Holy Spirit.
84 These are they who
are thrust down to hell.
85 These are they who
shall not be redeemed from the devil until the last resurrection, until the Lord,
even Christ the Lamb, shall have finished his work.
86 These are they who
receive not of his fulness in the eternal world, but of the Holy Spirit through
the ministration of the terrestrial;
87 And the terrestrial
through the ministration of the celestial.
88 And also the
telestial receive it of the administering of angels who are appointed to
minister for them, or who are appointed to be ministering spirits for them; for
they shall be heirs of salvation.
89 And thus we saw, in
the heavenly vision, the glory of the telestial, which surpasses all
understanding;
90 And no man knows it
except him to whom God has revealed it.
Here are all the similarities:
No faith, no gospel, no testimony, no eternal perspective
Try to have relationship, but can’t overcome difficulties
No knowledge of how to establish and maintain solid relationship
So what does a “telestial” relationship look like?
No faith, no gospel, no eternal perspective of marriage
Unable to endure trials or overcome differences
Desire relationship, but no knowledge of how to maintain it
“Terrestrial” Relationships
Terrestrial relationships are
compared to seeds that fall “among thorns.” Here are the verses:
Matthew 13:7, 22 (See also Mark 4:7, 18, 19 or Luke 8:7, 14)
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and
choked them:
22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that
heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches,
choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.
What does it mean to
fall “among thorns?” Here is another quote:
“Elder Bruce R. McConkie has said:
‘If the seed falls among thorns, it is in good soil, as is
evidenced by the growth of the undesirable plants. But the good plant is soon
choked and dies because it cannot overcome the influence of the weeds and
thistles. So it is with members of the Church who know the gospel is true, but
who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus, who are not affirmatively and
courageously striving to further the interests of the Church. So it is of Saints
who think more of the honors of men, the educational standards of the world,
political preferment, or money and property, than they do of the gospel. They
know the Lord’s work has been established on earth, but they let the cares of
the world choke the word. And instead of gaining eternal life, they shall be
burned with the tares which overcame them.’ (DNTC, 1:289).” (Church Educational System, 1978, p. 76)
In summary:
Influenced by others – friends, media, etc.
More concerned with worldly things – fame, fortune, politics,
power, property, etc.
Believe and/or know gospel is true but don’t build strong testimony
of or faith in Christ
Now we’ll compare “thorns” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life:
1 Nephi 8:24-28
24 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they
came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press
forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until
they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.
25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast
their eyes about as if they were ashamed.
26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side
of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were
in the air, high above the earth.
27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and
female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the
attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at
and were partaking of the fruit.
28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because
of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths
and were lost.
Compared to the “terrestrial” kingdom:
D&C 76:71-80
71 And again, we saw the terrestrial world, and behold and lo, these
are they who are of the terrestrial, whose glory differs from that of the
church of the Firstborn who have received the fulness of the Father, even as
that of the moon differs from the sun in the firmament.
73 And also they who are the spirits of men kept in prison, whom the
Son visited, and preached the gospel unto them, that they might be judged
according to men in the flesh;
78 Wherefore, they are bodies terrestrial, and not bodies celestial,
and differ in glory as the moon differs from the sun.
79 These are they who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus;
wherefore, they obtain not the crown over the kingdom of our God.
80 And now this is the end of the vision which we saw of the
terrestrial, that the Lord commanded us to write while we were yet in the
Spirit.
Here are some of the similarities we can find:
More concerned with worldly things – “craftiness of men” – money,
fame, politics, property, etc.
Know gospel is true, but are not faithful in building strong
testimony
Influenced by others – friends, media, etc.
So what does a “terrestrial” relationship look like?
More concerned with worldly things than marriage – money, property,
politics, job, education, personal gains, etc.
Wants a relationship, has a relationship, but doesn’t put much
effort into it
Incomplete knowledge of necessary elements – doesn’t have eternal
perspective or principles
No foundation; t’is just a “couple relationship” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, pp.
6-7):
§
Missing the sacred
aspects of relationship
§
“Lack the needed
foundation of the divine institution of
marriage.”
§
Emphasize outcomes
rather than foundation:
-
Influenced by
worldly things
-
Know importance of
marriage, but no effort is put into foundation
“Celestial”
Relationships
The last
relationship I will mention is compared to the seeds that fall on “good ground”
Matthew 13: 8, 23 (See also Mark 4: 8, 20 or Luke 8: 8,
15)
8 But
other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some
sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
23 But
he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth
it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some
sixty, some thirty.
What does it mean to fall “on good
ground?” Here one more quote:
“Again from
Elder McConkie:
‘If the
seed falls on productive, fertile soil, and if it is thereafter nurtured and
cared for, it bringeth forth a harvest. But even here crops of equal value are
not harvested by all the saints. There are many degrees of receptive belief;
there are many gradations of effective cultivation. All men, the saints
included, shall be judged according to their works; those who keep the whole
gospel law shall bring forth and hundred fold and inherit the fullness of the
Father’s kingdom. Others shall gain lesser rewards in the mansions which are
prepared.’ (DNTC, 1:289).” (Church
Educational System, 1978, p. 76)
In summary:
Hear
and understand truth, accept it, apply it, and live it
Endure
faithfully through trials
Let’s compare “good ground” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life:
1 Nephi 8:10-12, 30
10 And
it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one
happy.
11 And it came to pass that I did go forth
and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above
all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was
white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.
12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it
filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous
that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable
above all other fruit.
30 But, to be short in writing, behold, he
saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end
of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding
fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the
fruit of the tree.
1 Nephi 15:23-24
23 And they said unto me: What meaneth the
rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?
24 And I said unto them that it was the word
of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto
it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts
of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to
destruction.
Now we’ll take a look at the “celestial” kingdom:
D&C 76:50-53
50 And
again we bear record—for we saw and heard, and this is the testimony of the
gospel of Christ concerning them who shall come forth in the resurrection of
the just—
51 They are they who received the testimony
of Jesus, and believed on his name and were baptized after the manner of his
burial, being buried in the water in his name, and this according to the
commandment which he has given—
52 That by keeping the commandments they
might be washed and cleansed from all their sins, and receive the Holy Spirit
by the laying on of the hands of him who is ordained and sealed unto this
power;
53 And who overcome by faith, and are sealed
by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who
are just and true.
Here are
the similarities between the parable, the vision, and the celestial kingdom:
Strong
faith and testimony, constantly cultivated, nurtured, and fed
Hear and
understand truth, accept it, apply it, and live it
Endure
faithfully through trials
Strive
for salvation above all else
So what does a “celestial” relationship look like?
Strong
roots, faith, testimony
§ Foundation
of faith in Christ and His gospel
§ Obedience
to commandments
§ Eternal
perspective, principles, and covenants
Know and
understand how to create and maintain eternal marriage
Apply
knowledge and understanding
Cultivate,
strengthen, and nurture relationship
Firm devotion
and commitment to spouse and covenants
Faithfully
endure challenges and trials
Don’t
let worldly things interfere
Conclusion
There are two important things you
need to remember. First, no matter what category your relationship falls under,
it’s never too late. With faith in Christ and His Atonement challenges and
trials can be overcome, relationships can be strengthened, and hearts can be
healed. Start today by preparing your ground. Rid yourselves of the weeds and
thorns that threaten to choke you, remove any rocks that stand in your way, and
work diligently every day with faith. Consistently hold fast to that iron rod.
Let Christ lead the way. It takes a significant amount of work and effort on
the part of both partners to make a healthy relationship, but the eternal
happiness and joy it brings makes the effort worth it.
The second thing to remember is your
celestial marriage doesn’t have to be the exact same as anyone else’s celestial
marriage. Each couple is unique and must adapt to their circumstances. The
important thing is that you base your marriage relationship on principles and
practices as taught by the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Not all relationships are bad, but
there is only one that will allow us to return to the Celestial Kingdom to live
happily with our Heavenly Parents for eternity. Each of us needs to do our best
to strive for that celestial marriage relationship. Heavenly Father will bless
us as long as we are doing our best.
I can testify of the happiness that
can come with creating a celestial marriage. Nothing in life is more important,
and nothing brings as much fulfillment, joy, and happiness than being eternally
committed to the person you love more than anyone else in the whole world.
Additional
Resources
References
Church
Educational System. (1978). The Life and Teachings of Jesus and His
Apostles. Salt Lake City, Utah: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints.
First
Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles. (1995, November). The Family:
A Proclamation to the World. Ensign. Retrieved from
http://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/11/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng
Hawkins,
A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful Marriages and
Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah:
BYU Studies.
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