Marriage Part 3: Celestial Marriage

Link to Introduction

Link to Lesson1: Importance of Marriage

Link to Lesson2: Marriage Relationships

Lesson Outcome

            This lesson is intended to help you recognize principles and practices that are necessary in preparing for and creating a celestial marriage.

Introduction

             Building a house doesn’t happen in an instant and it’s not a one or two step process. There are many aspects of building a house, and each step must be done in a certain order. The first step to building a house is to prepare the ground and foundation. The foundation of the house is what makes it sturdy and keeps it standing upright during rain, snow, and wind.

            After the foundation is in place then the support beams for the walls and roof can be built. Just as the foundation supports the whole house, the support beams keep the walls and roof from caving in. Windows are put in place to let in daylight, and doors are built to control who and what may enter the house. Insulation is put into the walls and ceiling to help keep the house from getting too cold or too warm. Wiring is run throughout the walls and ceiling to regulate electricity which is then used to provide light when it is dark and to allow usage of electronics and appliances.

            Colorful floors, carpets, and paint or wall-paper are used to make the inside of the house pleasing to the eye. Finally, the home is ready for a family to move in and make the house into a home. They will personalize each room with pictures, paintings, and prized possessions. They will laugh and cry together, offend and forgive one another, and learn and grow together. Over the years, the home will be filled with memories, both good and bad, and no matter where the family members go or what they do, it will always be home.

            In this lesson, I will be comparing building a marriage to certain aspects of building a home.

           

Preparing for an Eternal Marriage

A Sure Foundation

            The first step to creating a sure foundation for your marriage is to have an eternal perspective about marriage and the family. Understanding why marriage is an essential part of your eternal destiny gives deeper meaning to the sanctity of marriage. Studying the Holy Scriptures, listening to the words of the living prophets, and learning what previous prophets and apostles have taught are just a few things you can do to learn more about the importance of marriage.

            Once you understand why marriage is essential to your eternal salvation, you can start building your foundation. That foundation needs to be centered in the Savior Jesus Christ. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” (First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles, 1995). President Ezra Taft Benson taught:

“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.” (Benson, 1988)

All families must endure trials and difficulties. Research has indicated that “marriage-based families in which the parents share religious involvement seem to fare comparatively well” through their problems (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 193). By putting our trust and faith in Christ, we are allowing Him to be our guide through life. If we choose to follow Him, we will not go astray, for He will always lead us in the right way.

    

Sturdy Walls and Roof

            To build sturdy walls in your relationship, you must first become the kind of person you wish to marry. One of the early chapters in Successful Marriage and Families discusses the importance of focusing on becoming the right person rather than trying to find the right person. By choosing to focus on becoming the right person and being prepared for marriage, you can reduce the anxiety associated with trying to find someone to marry. (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 6)

            Another aspect of building sturdy walls for your marriage is to practice proper dating procedures. In Successful Marriages and Families (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 12-13) we learn about “dating patterns that can lead to exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage.” This dating pattern consists of three main steps: traditional dating, exclusive dating, and engagement. Traditional dating should “follow a pattern that allows for meaningful conversation and dialogue. Traditional dating experience provides young adults with greater self-awareness, greater appreciation of the range of potential partners, and greater preparation for marriage….” Traditional dating should be casual, simple, and frequent.

            Exclusive dating is the next logical step after traditional dating. Exclusive dating is a time when “couples can explore a potential marriage relationship with a specific person.” Exclusive dating also “involves extended families, friends, and others.”

            The final step before marriage is engagement. “The purposes of engagement are to confirm a decision to marry someone, make wedding preparations, and strengthen new extended family relationships.”

            These dating practices, though uncommon, can help you create the sturdy walls and rood needed to help your relationship last. Proper dating practices allow you ample opportunity to resolve differences, make plans, and prepare for your future together. Use your dating time wisely by not rushing into an exclusive relationship, but beware that you don’t take too long. If proper dating practices are followed, your relationship can progress naturally towards engagement and marriage.

Creating an Eternal Marriage

Safety and Security

            Once you have chosen to marry, it is important to create a marriage of safety and security. There are several ways to cultivate safety and security in marriage. Two major aspects of safety and security in marriage are repentance and forgiveness. Being able to forgive family members of their transgressions makes it more likely that you will “have better emotional and physical health” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 203). Holding a grudge, whether towards someone else or towards yourself, can affect your ability to interact positively with your spouse and other family members. Frank Fincham was quoted in a Church News article, saying, “A happy marriage is a union of two good forgivers” (Holman, 2013).

            Some other aspects of safety and security in marriage are love, respect, compassion, trust, and honesty.  I love this quote by President N. Eldon Tanner:

 “As I have performed marriage ceremonies for young couples, I have talked with them about their future and the things that will go into building an increase of love for one another and into the establishment of a happy home. There are four specific things, among others, which I always include.

“First, I remind them to keep the covenants which they make as they are married.

“Second, addressing myself to the young man, I tell him to make her happy. If he will do all he can to make her happy, she cannot help but want to reciprocate and do everything she can for his comfort and welfare.

“Third, I stress the importance of clearing up any misunderstandings they may have. I remind them that it does not matter who is right, but what is right. …

“Fourth, and very important, I remind them to continue to love one another.

I tell them too that marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition. Each must go the extra mile so there is no contention about the halfway mark.” (Tanner, 1980)

            It is vital that husband and wife “honor marital vows wit complete fidelity” (First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles, 1995). Doing so provides the ideal setting  in which mothers and fathers can raise children (Bednar, 2006). Successful Marriages and Families discusses different types of infidelity and the resulting consequences. “Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 62). From sexually transmitted diseases to confusion in families, infidelity has numerous consequences. To avoid these consequences it is vital that husbands and wives remain completely loyal to one another.

            Equal partnership is another major aspect of safety and security in marriage. The Family Proclamation we are taught that fathers and mothers are to share in the responsibilities of rearing their children “as equal partners” (First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles, 1995). Being equal partners doesn’t mean they have to do all the same things. Being equal partners means they work together and one spouse does not have more responsibility than the other. “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children” (First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles, 1995).

            Another major aspect of safety and security in marriage is intimacy. Intimacy between husband and wife is a sacred and special act, “a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything” (Holland, 1988). Intimacy is a chance to truly connect on a deep level with your spouse, to show them how much you love them, and to unite every part of yourself with every part of your partner.

            The final piece of safety and security in marriage I will mention is to not let things of the world interfere. The world is filled with pride, iniquity, and warped views of how things ought to be. Close your doors to worldly influence and open your hearts to influence from the Holy Spirit.

Happiness and Joy

            Building your marriage on a strong foundation and then working to build a sturdy and secure relationship are the first steps to bringing true happiness and joy into your marriage. One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to constantly work to strengthen your relationship. Prayer is a great way to do this. “Prayer is the means by which individuals may invite God to play an active role in their relationship” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, p. 197). Kneeling together in prayer is another way for husband and wife to become unified in all they are, and it has the added benefit of inviting God to be a part of their lives.

            There are many ways to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. It is important to spend time together with just the two of you. Go on a weekly date. Husbands, never stop courting your wife. Wives, never stop loving and encouraging your husbands. Communicate often, and use Christ-like communication in all you say and do. Christ-like communication should never be negative, degrading, or humiliating. Rather, according to Elder L. Lionel Kendrick, Christ-like communication should be expressed “in tones of love” (Kendrick, 1988). When conflicts arise, calmly discuss them. If you need time to calm down before you discuss the problem, allow yourself the time you need. As you discuss your problems, remember to do so in a kind and loving way. If it helps, hold the hand of your loved one as you discuss issues; it’s a lot harder to speak in anger at a person when you are holding their hand.

            Two more great ways to bring happiness and joy into your home are by working together and participating in wholesome recreational activities together. When you work side-by-side with someone every day, it’s hard to not love that person. In a similar way, when you are enjoying wholesome recreation with your family, it can strengthen your relationships. In Successful Marriages and Families we can find some basic ideas about work and wholesome recreational activities. Family work does not need to be complicated or perfect. The idea is to spend time together as a family in worthwhile activities. Mundane work provides ample opportunity to talk and interact with one another which in turn encourages closer relationships. Similarly, wholesome recreation “can serve to promote positive development in our children, strengthen our marriages, and build strong families.” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012).

Conclusion

            There are many aspects to creating and maintaining a celestial marriage. Take the time to learn what you need to do to strengthen your marriage and make it into a celestial marriage that will endure for eternity. Take the time to prepare your ground and build your foundation so that together you and your spouse can build a sturdy relationship that will keep you safe from the influences of the world. Faithfully do all you can to show love and concern for one another.

            Carefully care for and nurture your relationship. Take time together as a couple to keep your romance alive. Don’t give up when trials come. Turn to the Lord every day for guidance and inspiration. He wants to help you, and if you ask for that help, He will gladly give it.

            I testify that marriage is essential to our eternal salvation. It is a necessary step for each and every one of us. Those that do not have a chance to be married in this life WILL get the chance. Have faith in the Lord’s timing; He can see the big picture and He knows what you need better than you do. Things may not always happen when you want or how you want, but you can always trust that the Lord knows what He is doing. As long as you are striving to do what is right and follow God’s plan for you, then you will receive the blessings He has promised.

Additional Resources

Scriptures on the Web

Mormon.org

References

Bednar, D. A. (2006, June). Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/liahona/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng&query=Marriage+Essential+His+Eternal+Plan

Benson, E. T. (1988, May). The Great Commandment - Love the Lord. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1988/04/the-great-commandment-love-the-lord

First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles. (1995, November). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/11/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies.

Holland, J. R. (1988, January 12). Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments. Provo, Utah.

Holman, M. (2013, March 12). Happy Marriages Require Good Forgivers. Church News. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/church/news/happy-marriages-require-good-forgivers?lang=eng

Kendrick, L. L. (1988, November). Christlike Communications. Ensign. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1988/11/christlike-communications?lang=eng

Tanner, N. E. (1980, May). Celestial Marriages and Eternal Families. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/ensign/1980/05/celestial-marriages-and-eternal-families?lang=eng

Marriage Part 2: Relationships

Link to Introduction

Link to Lesson1: Importance of Marriage

Lesson Outcome

            The purpose of this lesson is to help you recognize the different types of relationships, why many of them fail to bring true happiness, and why it’s important to strive to create a “Celestial Marriage.”

Introduction

            Have you ever tried to walk or run with your shoes on the wrong feet or your laces untied? It’s possible, but it’s also uncomfortable and awkward. Just as walking and running are most comfortable when your shoes are on correctly, so, too, is marriage most comfortable when you have taken the time to create a proper relationship.

            Matthew chapter 13 contains an account of the Parable of the Sower. The sower sows seeds in four locations, but for various reasons not all of the seeds survive. Starting in 1 Nephi chapter 8, and for several chapters after, we are taught about Lehi’s vision of the Tree of Life. In this vision, there is one path that leads to the Tree of Life, or eternal life, and to safely navigate that path you must hold onto an iron rod or else you will be lost in the “mists of darkness” that will come and prevent you from seeing where you are headed. Those mists of darkness represent the temptations of the devil, and the iron rod represents the word of God; following the path to the tree symbolizes living a life of righteousness. Also in this vision are several groups of people, all headed in different directions. Due to varying circumstances and the choices those people make, many of them are lost and cannot find their way to the tree.

            For this lesson, I am going to take the Parable of the Sower and the Vision of the Tree of Life and compare them to different types of relationships.

Parables and Visions

“Outer Darkness” Relationships

The first type of relationship is what I call an “outer darkness” relationship. This relationship can be compared to the seeds that fell “by the way side.” First, let’s look at the description of the way side seeds:

Matthew 13:4, 19 (See also Mark 4:4, 15 or Luke 8:5, 12)

4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:

19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.

What does it mean to fall “by the way side?” Here is one explanation:

“What is it that hardens the heart? This explanation was given by the Prophet Joseph Smith:

‘Men who have no principle of righteousness in themselves, and whose hearts are full of iniquity, and have no desire for the principles of truth, do not understand the word of truth when they hear it. The devil taketh away the word of truth out of their hearts, because there is no desire for righteousness in them….’ (Smith, Teachings, p. 96).’ ” (Church Educational System, 1978, p. 75)

            In summary:

Pride, iniquity, hard hearted

No understanding of truth

No desire for righteousness

Next let’s compare the “way side” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life

Here are the relevant verses:

1 Nephi 8: 31

 31 And he also saw other multitudes feeling their way towards that great and spacious building.

1 Nephi 12:18

18 And the large and spacious building, which thy father saw, is vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men. And a great and a terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal God, and the Messiah who is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time henceforth and forever.

Now let’s compare these to “outer darkness”

Alma 40:13

13 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of the wicked, yea, who are evil—for behold, they have no part nor portion of the Spirit of the Lord; for behold, they chose evil works rather than good; therefore the spirit of the devil did enter into them, and take possession of their house—and these shall be cast out into outer darkness; there shall be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this because of their own iniquity, being led captive by the will of the devil.

Look at the similarities and common themes between way side seeds, the large and spacious building, and outer darkness:

The devil has possession of their hearts – pride, iniquity

They choose evil rather than good – no desire for righteousness

They have no part of the “Spirit of the Lord” – no understanding of truth

So what does an “outer darkness” relationship look like?

No desire for marriage or a relationship

No understanding of the importance of marriage in eternal salvation

“Telestial” Relationships

            This next relationship is compared to the seeds that fall in “stony places.” Let’s take a look:

Matthew 13:5, 6, 20, 21 (See also Mark 4:5, 6, 16, 17 or Luke 8: 6, 13)

5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:

6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.

20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;

21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.

What does it mean to fall “in stony places?” Here is a helpful quote:

“(Note: Just as the rootless sprout is unable to remain alive under the heat of the noonday sun, so there are those who, without real testimony and faith, lose conviction and even interest under the pressures of difficulties or ridicule. Though not commenting directly on the Savior’s parable, President Heber C. Kimball prophesied over a century ago of a condition that illustrates the need for a deeply rooted, living faith capable of enduring challenges. The prophecy has an increasingly important message for the Church in our day as it faces the unfolding future.)

“ ‘Let me say to you, that many of you will see the time when you will have all the trouble, trial and persecution that you can stand, and plenty of opportunities to show that you are true to God and his work. This Church has before it many close places through which it will have to pass before the work of God is crowned with victory. To meet the difficulties that are coming, it will be necessary for you to have a knowledge of the truth of this work for yourselves. The difficulties will be of such a character that the man or woman who does not possess this personal knowledge or witness will fall. If you have not got the testimony, live right and call upon the Lord and cease not till you obtain it. If you do not you will not stand.

“ ‘Remember these sayings, for many of you will live to see them fulfilled. The time will come when no man nor woman will be able to endure on borrowed light. Each will have to be guided by the light within himself. If you do not have it, how can you stand?’ (Quoted by Harold B. Lee in CR, Oct. 1965, p. 128; see also Orson F. Whitney, life of Heber C. Kimball, pp. 446, 449-50).” (Church Educational System, 1978, p. 75)

            In summary:

No testimony or faith

No strength to resist temptation, unable to endure trials

No light within yourself

Next let’s compare “stony ground” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life

1 Nephi 8:21-23

21 And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood.

22 And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.

23 And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.

Now let’s compare these to the “telestial” kingdom:

D&C 76:81-90

81 And again, we saw the glory of the telestial, which glory is that of the lesser, even as the glory of the stars differs from that of the glory of the moon in the firmament.

82 These are they who received not the gospel of Christ, neither the testimony of Jesus.

83 These are they who deny not the Holy Spirit.

84 These are they who are thrust down to hell.

85 These are they who shall not be redeemed from the devil until the last resurrection, until the Lord, even Christ the Lamb, shall have finished his work.

86 These are they who receive not of his fulness in the eternal world, but of the Holy Spirit through the ministration of the terrestrial;

87 And the terrestrial through the ministration of the celestial.

88 And also the telestial receive it of the administering of angels who are appointed to minister for them, or who are appointed to be ministering spirits for them; for they shall be heirs of salvation.

89 And thus we saw, in the heavenly vision, the glory of the telestial, which surpasses all understanding;

90 And no man knows it except him to whom God has revealed it.

Here are all the similarities:

No faith, no gospel, no testimony, no eternal perspective

Try to have relationship, but can’t overcome difficulties

No knowledge of how to establish and maintain solid relationship

So what does a “telestial” relationship look like?

No faith, no gospel, no eternal perspective of marriage

Unable to endure trials or overcome differences

Desire relationship, but no knowledge of how to maintain it

“Terrestrial” Relationships

            Terrestrial relationships are compared to seeds that fall “among thorns.” Here are the verses:

Matthew 13:7, 22 (See also Mark 4:7, 18, 19 or Luke 8:7, 14)

7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:

22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.

What does it mean to fall “among thorns?” Here is another quote:

“Elder Bruce R. McConkie has said:

‘If the seed falls among thorns, it is in good soil, as is evidenced by the growth of the undesirable plants. But the good plant is soon choked and dies because it cannot overcome the influence of the weeds and thistles. So it is with members of the Church who know the gospel is true, but who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus, who are not affirmatively and courageously striving to further the interests of the Church. So it is of Saints who think more of the honors of men, the educational standards of the world, political preferment, or money and property, than they do of the gospel. They know the Lord’s work has been established on earth, but they let the cares of the world choke the word. And instead of gaining eternal life, they shall be burned with the tares which overcame them.’ (DNTC, 1:289).” (Church Educational System, 1978, p. 76)

            In summary:

Influenced by others – friends, media, etc.

More concerned with worldly things – fame, fortune, politics, power, property, etc.

Believe and/or know gospel is true but don’t build strong testimony of or faith in Christ

Now we’ll compare “thorns” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life:

1 Nephi 8:24-28

24 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed.

26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.

Compared to the “terrestrial” kingdom:

D&C 76:71-80

71 And again, we saw the terrestrial world, and behold and lo, these are they who are of the terrestrial, whose glory differs from that of the church of the Firstborn who have received the fulness of the Father, even as that of the moon differs from the sun in the firmament.

 72 Behold, these are they who died without law;

 73 And also they who are the spirits of men kept in prison, whom the Son visited, and preached the gospel unto them, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh;

 74 Who received not the testimony of Jesus in the flesh, but afterwards received it.

 75 These are they who are honorable men of the earth, who were blinded by the craftiness of men.

 76 These are they who receive of his glory, but not of his fulness.

 77 These are they who receive of the presence of the Son, but not of the fulness of the Father.

 78 Wherefore, they are bodies terrestrial, and not bodies celestial, and differ in glory as the moon differs from the sun.

 79 These are they who are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus; wherefore, they obtain not the crown over the kingdom of our God.

 80 And now this is the end of the vision which we saw of the terrestrial, that the Lord commanded us to write while we were yet in the Spirit.

Here are some of the similarities we can find:

More concerned with worldly things – “craftiness of men” – money, fame, politics, property, etc.

Know gospel is true, but are not faithful in building strong testimony

Influenced by others – friends, media, etc.

So what does a “terrestrial” relationship look like?

More concerned with worldly things than marriage – money, property, politics, job, education, personal gains, etc.

Wants a relationship, has a relationship, but doesn’t put much effort into it

Incomplete knowledge of necessary elements – doesn’t have eternal perspective or principles

No foundation; t’is just a “couple relationship” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper, 2012, pp. 6-7):

§  Missing the sacred aspects of relationship

§  “Lack the needed foundation of the divine institution of marriage.”

§  Emphasize outcomes rather than foundation:

-          Influenced by worldly things

-          Know importance of marriage, but no effort is put into foundation

 “Celestial” Relationships

The last relationship I will mention is compared to the seeds that fall on “good ground”

Matthew 13: 8, 23 (See also Mark 4: 8, 20 or Luke 8: 8, 15)

8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.

23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

What does it mean to fall “on good ground?” Here one more quote:

“Again from Elder McConkie:

‘If the seed falls on productive, fertile soil, and if it is thereafter nurtured and cared for, it bringeth forth a harvest. But even here crops of equal value are not harvested by all the saints. There are many degrees of receptive belief; there are many gradations of effective cultivation. All men, the saints included, shall be judged according to their works; those who keep the whole gospel law shall bring forth and hundred fold and inherit the fullness of the Father’s kingdom. Others shall gain lesser rewards in the mansions which are prepared.’ (DNTC, 1:289).” (Church Educational System, 1978, p. 76)

            In summary:

Strong faith and testimony that are constantly cultivated, nurtured, and fed

Hear and understand truth, accept it, apply it, and live it

Endure faithfully through trials

Let’s compare “good ground” to Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life:

1 Nephi 8:10-12, 30

10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.

11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

30 But, to be short in writing, behold, he saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree.

1 Nephi 15:23-24

23 And they said unto me: What meaneth the rod of iron which our father saw, that led to the tree?

24 And I said unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.

 Now we’ll take a look at the “celestial” kingdom:

D&C 76:50-53

50 And again we bear record—for we saw and heard, and this is the testimony of the gospel of Christ concerning them who shall come forth in the resurrection of the just—

51 They are they who received the testimony of Jesus, and believed on his name and were baptized after the manner of his burial, being buried in the water in his name, and this according to the commandment which he has given—

52 That by keeping the commandments they might be washed and cleansed from all their sins, and receive the Holy Spirit by the laying on of the hands of him who is ordained and sealed unto this power;

53 And who overcome by faith, and are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true.

Here are the similarities between the parable, the vision, and the celestial kingdom:

Strong faith and testimony, constantly cultivated, nurtured, and fed

Hear and understand truth, accept it, apply it, and live it

Endure faithfully through trials

Strive for salvation above all else

So what does a “celestial” relationship look like?

Strong roots, faith, testimony

§  Foundation of faith in Christ and His gospel

§  Obedience to commandments

§  Eternal perspective, principles, and covenants

Know and understand how to create and maintain eternal marriage

Apply knowledge and understanding

Cultivate, strengthen, and nurture relationship

Firm devotion and commitment to spouse and covenants

Faithfully endure challenges and trials

Don’t let worldly things interfere

Conclusion

            There are two important things you need to remember. First, no matter what category your relationship falls under, it’s never too late. With faith in Christ and His Atonement challenges and trials can be overcome, relationships can be strengthened, and hearts can be healed. Start today by preparing your ground. Rid yourselves of the weeds and thorns that threaten to choke you, remove any rocks that stand in your way, and work diligently every day with faith. Consistently hold fast to that iron rod. Let Christ lead the way. It takes a significant amount of work and effort on the part of both partners to make a healthy relationship, but the eternal happiness and joy it brings makes the effort worth it.

            The second thing to remember is your celestial marriage doesn’t have to be the exact same as anyone else’s celestial marriage. Each couple is unique and must adapt to their circumstances. The important thing is that you base your marriage relationship on principles and practices as taught by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

            Not all relationships are bad, but there is only one that will allow us to return to the Celestial Kingdom to live happily with our Heavenly Parents for eternity. Each of us needs to do our best to strive for that celestial marriage relationship. Heavenly Father will bless us as long as we are doing our best.

            I can testify of the happiness that can come with creating a celestial marriage. Nothing in life is more important, and nothing brings as much fulfillment, joy, and happiness than being eternally committed to the person you love more than anyone else in the whole world.

Link to Lesson3: Celestial Marriage

Additional Resources

Scriptures on the Web

Mormon.org

References

Church Educational System. (1978). The Life and Teachings of Jesus and His Apostles. Salt Lake City, Utah: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

First Presidency & Council of the Twelve Apostles. (1995, November). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Ensign. Retrieved from http://www.lds.org/ensign/1995/11/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies.